Tonight, SA is off doing SA type things and I was feeling delightfully lazy after an afternoon spent drinking blended coffee and hanging out by the river. Consequently, I was not in the mood to make anything delicious, nutritious or good for us for dinner, plus I wanted something fast! Hot dogs it was!
OK so I'm coming out with it... Hi, my name is Faith, and I'm a...a...a...HOTDOG snob!(Hi, Faith!)
Yup, I was never one of those kids satisfied with an Oscar Meyer pulled out of the fridge and thrown in the microwave, or even more disgusting an Oscar Meyer pulled out of the fridge and eaten without heating it in some fashion. AND don't even get me started on hot dogs that cost less than a dollar. I know they have to use up the skin, beaks, ears, ahem, weenies, and other unappetizing pieces. Gross. EPIC GROSS.
There are only three acceptable ways to eat a hot dog, one being fried in a cast iron skillet until slightly crisp and thus, delicious, two, broiled in the broiler and three, my most favorite of all, grilled. Mmmm. Being that the fourth of July is approaching at the speed of a northbound train, I thought I would do a little dog schooling on here.
First of all, there is only one brand of hot dogs in my book, the hot dogs that i have been eating since childhood, the best of all hot dogs, the kosherist of all hot dogs, Hebrew Brand National! According to their website, Hebrew Brand has no fillers, no artificial flavors, colors, or the all important by products.
One of my co-workers had told me that I had to try a hot dog wrapped in bacon. Now as I'm sure this blog will end up documenting, I'm a huge bacon fan, however I was equal parts skeeved and intrigued by a bacon wrapped hot dog. I had to try it though, so I prepped my hot dogs, well, actually I prepped one of my hot dogs, because I'm going to be honest, after I wrapped that first dog in bacon, I felt dirty, and slightly seedy. I mean there is something just not OK about hot dogs in the first place, but wrap a piece of bacon around it and I would swear I could hear my arteries crying out in agony: "Noooo!"
So I put the 'dogs on the grill, chatted for a bit with the bestie and then proceeded to fix them up. In my book there is a precise way to make a hot dog and tonight I couldn't make them exactly how I like but I came super close.
Once the 'dogs and the bacon dog (I shudder even writing that) were done, I took them off the grill and surveyed the results. This my friends, is a bacon wrapped hot dog in all its glory:
I'm not even going to comment. There are so many things I could say, but I will leave it. So now I am guessing you want a report on how it tasted? Well here is where it gets super lame, Yup, I tasted it, and I will say that it was interesting..and very greasy. Ugh, so greasy in fact I dropped it, and guess who gobbled it up?
The Great Hot Dog Bandit:
Doesn't he look happy with himself?
He is a sucker for bacon, when we rescued him his former owner told us his favorite snack was bacon, guess they weren't kidding.
At any rate, I still thankfully had regular hot dogs. Now as I said before there is but one way to dress a dog in my book and it goes like this.
1. Toast your bun.
2. Spread a little miracle whip on the bun.
3. Add some sweet pickle relish. The sweet part is key here, people.
4. Then add cheese. mmmm. We are getting somewhere now.
5. Add gently charred hot dog. Now, while we are on this step, lets talk for a moment about darkness of your hot dog. There is a fine line here. The 'dog should be on the verge of blackness, a dark, I've been using too much Hawaiian tropics sun oil shade. Mmmm perfect.
6. Cover hot dog with a generous helping of Wolf Brand Chili, no beans. Revel for a moment in the lovely orangeness of it's coloring, and remind yourself that its ok since your hot dogs were dye free. Mmmmmm.
7. Add a few onions, and dig in!!!
*Author's Note: Quite obiviously, both for its addition of beans and lack of lovely orange hue, this is not Wolf Brand Chili. I am out of the three cans I brought back on my last trip to Texas. (HINT HINT!)